First and foremost;; MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE is when someone comments my blog saying they like it, and then asking for me to follow. Just a forewarning, out of courtesy, you should follow mines as well. So please stop using my comment space to whore for followers. You look desperate (:
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English Class asked for another essay again ., and we had to write about our favorite song and what memories it brings up. I chose Heartbreaker by MSTRKRFT, which if you have not heard by now, it is a must-hear. I wrote about Paranoia, and in all honestly, it's a continuation off of the essay I wrote about previously. However, without further ado, here's the essay.
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Music is a powerful force in our life. Within four minutes (give or take), our ears are hit with melodies that stir up memories that are long forgotten or fairly recent. Whenever a song comes on, it is always easy to claim this song fits your life perfectly, but as life changes, so does that ‘perfect song’. However, just like specific people are destined to populate your life, certain songs are meant to personify you, regardless of how much time passes. The song I am referencing to is a slightly unknown song by a Canadian group called MSTRKRFT. Their song, Heartbreaker featuring John Legend is a song that can sum up two years of pining for a female that not only was incredibly evasive to my clever techniques, but one who could rip a heart into shreds with her razor sharp teeth.
Just five months ago, my sister and I laid in her bed with our eyes glued to our favorite show of the moment, So You Think You Can Dance. We watched the penultimate show where four dancers ripped their hearts out, and left it on the dance floor. It was Jeanine and Evan’s turn, and they took the stage and the music started to play. At first, my sister and I smirked. The electro-jazz vibe we got from the song was quite odd from what we were accustomed to. All of that soon melted away when the dancers begun. I cringed as Evan desperately grasped for Jeanine as she threw out the most flagitious glare that could make even Satan cower in fear. She threw him across the stage effortlessly, and yet he still followed her around like a lost puppy. I furrowed my brow as I tried to figure out why that song and dance haunted my thoughts, almost creating an oppressive feeling.
After that night, the song and dance left my thoughts for awhile. I still toiled with the female day after day, but I became as used to my position in her life as a best friend, my synapse refused to let anything destroy the walls of denial I erected. Of course, not all bricks are created equally, and she somehow exploited that one less than stellar brick, and soon the whole wall crumbled. The synapse in my mind went into overdrive to minimize all possible damage I could receive during my internal convalescence. As I wandered around my house, looking for something to take my mind off of her, I immediately dove into music. Finding all of the music I currently had mundane, I started to look up songs that I did not usually listen to. Heartbreaker surfaced from my memory, and without anything better else to do, I looked it up, and gave it another listen. It is always funny how things change when you put it into a different context, and Heartbreaker was no different. The electro-jazz beat still irked me slightly, but any pass annoyance paled in comparison to the lyrics that the song was composed of.
Each verse that went by in the song struck up vivid memories from my past. John Legend’s soulful voice brought me back to the very first time I met her in homeroom during 8th grade. The smiles we exchanged, and the butterflies (albeit one-sided) that was created was something that remains etched onto my brain. It was not until the chorus that everything became a clear picture. “You’re in my mind, you’re in my heart. I wish I knew right from the start. All my friends say you’d break my heart. A heartbreaker right from the start,” sums of my feelings for her. Regardless of it was my mother or a friend, all of them repeated the same phrase, “She is just not right for you.” This song was a lot more effective with its delivery apparently, as I immediately got it. My affinity towards this song finalized when the last verse of the song started. “And now it’s gone, I don’t know why. I feel like crying, just want to die. I can’t look at you, and you know why. Though I tried so hard to catch your eye,” captured the pain that I had to endure while having to see this female daily. I downloaded the song with haste, and put it on repeat as I lay down in my bed, taking comfort with my blanket.
Months flew by, and I found myself even more drawn to that song. As event after event transpired, and I ran to the comfort of my bed, that song was the only thing that would remain constant in my ever churning life. As the song played, my sullen mood eased, as I knew I could take solace in the fact that someone around the world was going through the exact thing I was going through. Through listening to that song over and over again, I finally became tired of my situation that was as much of my fault as it was hers. As time came for our usual phone call, I played the lyrics back in my head to reaffirm that what I was doing was right. My voice shook as we talked, but I jumped right into it. As the walls of denial that I repaired were completely eroded by the flash flood of tears that occurred, I hung up the phone knowing that I did right. I put Heartbreaker on repeat and cranked the volume up until it reached the maximum to drown out the sounds of my desperate sobs.
Memories are one of the more peculiar naturally occurring events in the world. Humans can somehow archive any occasion that comes up, and then suppress them as time goes on. Music as whole has the innate ability to bring us back to a certain memory that we have repressed because it is too difficult to deal with. Heartbreaker personifies that statement whole-heartedly, as it brings forth memories that I attempted to erase. With its catchy electro-jazz beat that is an acquired taste, and seemingly personalized lyrics, this song will always remain a personal favorite.
