You Found Me // Poison

I need to stop thinking.

My friend said that I think too much, and that I shouldn't think much today. I wish I could've followed his wise words, because all of the thinking that I've done just caused me to be ill.

I have been listening to The Fray lately, and You Found Me finally made sense to me (after what, months?)

The story in the lyrics is quite simple, a man is simply asking God where has he been throughout life.

Of course many people have lamented the same question, but I even more so just wish for ten minutes with God. I'm not saying that I'm so significant that I deserve time with him, just to figure out why my life is the way it is, but I just need for him to answer whether or not thing occur for a reason.

If things happen for a reason, then I think life would be somewhat easier to deal with. I mean, knowing that this temporary, self-sabotaging stage in my life won't last forever makes things a lot easier. But, if nothing truly happens for a reason, and life is just nothing but chaos, I don't think I really could deal. As humans, whenever something happens to us that we can't exactly comprehend, we have to find someway to justify whats going on around me, and as of current, I'm not seeing any justification.

Of course, this segways into the only thing in my life that would force me to this point. Her.

It's pretty much canon at this point, that we're in a relationship, just not physical. Ehr. Ehr. Ehr. This is where the crux of the issue lies. I simply cannot start a relationship with anyone else unless I rid myself from her. It's easier to say what I need to do versus actually doing it. I figure if I vocalize it, then maybe it'll happen. I realize that I'm at a constant ebb and flow, with her being the moon that dictates my movement. I just need to actually cement the fact that she doesn't care how I want her too, and just leave her behind.

Hi there.
Do you hear me?
I once jumped for your attention.
I used to dream of taking your hand.

Bye now.
Do you see me walking away?
Gravity keeps me from grasping your full attention.
The dream of marriage quickly turned into a nightmare.

Hello Again!
Are you surprised?
Your tongue is forged of silver.
The words you spew draw me in.

Adios!
How many times have I said this?
Your emotions are a cheap imitation.
I prefer a grave over the prison you chain me too.

-- a very quick poem by me. Not even sure if I like it yett.

I have to make the tough decisions, 'nuff said.

Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world
-- The Fray
______________________
You're bad for me
I clearly get it
I don't see how something good could come from loving you

The death of me
Must be your mission
'Cuz with every hug and kiss,
You're snatching every bit of strength

That I'm gunna need to fight off the inevitable
And it's a heart-breaking situation
I'm up in but I can't control
-- Beyonce