So, I finally did it.

I believe this time will be the last time for awhile. I just had to end things with her, because this whole dance that we do is not healthy, at all. Of course even as tears stream down my face, and my head throbs from pain, I still rather remain in my comfort zone, but I just had to break up with her.

Haa, but using the term "break up" doesn't even apply to what we were, right? Still, to this date, that was the hardest thirty minutes I had to go through. Within the first few minutes of the conversation, I just straight up told her. Of course, I couldn't help myself, and the tears came quickly, and my voice started going really high and sounding awfully whiny.

I think when she heard my voice, it shocked her.

After discussing with her why, and the awkward silence that followed (though it was filled with sniffles and random sobs), we talked for a bit, but the affects of what I said already occurred. There was so many things that I wanted to say, but I was just choked up.

She asked me if she could text me, but I had to follow all the way through. At the last moment, before she had to go, she said "I'll miss you." Which is still tear inducing, even writing about it now. She stumbled with her words as she was saying good bye, and then hung up.

After she hung up, I broke down and cried, as if some part of me was holding back, just for her sake. Then of course I started to blog, but nothing seems to cure it. She still remains the closest to love. Maybe she won't understand all of my reasons, or how I still look out for her, and still love her. But, its time for me to move on, and look at other horizons. "/

"So much work was for nothing, and I felt bad taking it all so easily within days"