On My Own Time (Write On!)

I don't know what draws me back here, so often. But I guess whenever I have something that just sits on my chest that gnaws at me until I want to burst -- this is the place.

Something about this week has just been eh-ish.

I think, maybe I had a great saturday, and I put myself way to high.

But, a lot of small things have been building up.

First, is that sickening feeling of losing a friend. I mean, I tend to look waaay too much into things. It's just how I am. But, at the same time, I just see signs of losing a friendship that I depend (depended) on. I feel bad about talking to the person about it, for it's not even like I don't care about them. It's the exact opposite, but something intangible is stopping me every single time.

After that, I could go on and on about the horrors of friend zone and how truly torturing it is, but beating a dead horse is just so tedious. At least I can claim an improvement in the fact that it's not Paranoia.

Then, I don't know if it's just the fact that I compare myself to people too much. I just feel disappointed with that I am doing and everything.

But like Kibby says. "Self-pity is only allowed once a year, unless you're Qaree, then you can't do it at all."

I just need time to walk it off,
but I can’t do it
I’ll write it on my own time
Hey look I made it on my own (on my own)
I know she thinks that I don’t try, but I realize that I can do better
Write, write on
Makin’ a mess as I progress
No time to cry about it, do better
Write, write on
- Gym Class Heroes